AskUsTeens.org: Parent's Corner

HIV/STD Information for Parents
Georgia Department of Human Resources 
TEENS, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND AIDS
About 18,768 Georgia teens ages 10-19 were reported to have a newly diagnosed sexually transmitted disease (STD) in 2001, including 5,606 cases of gonorrhea, 13,146 cases of chlamydia and 16 cases of primary and secondary syphilis. Experts believe that many cases of STDs are not diagnosed or, if diagnosed, are not reported, making the impact of STDs on teens much higher. ( Georgia Department of Human Resources, Division of

Public Health, Prevention Services Branch )

• STDs, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and herpes simplex virus, increase the risk of transmitting or acquiring HIV from an infected partner through unprotected sex.
• Young adults ages 20 to 29 years have accounted for 19 percent of all AIDS cases reported in Georgia from 1981 through June 2002. Given the long time between HIV infection and the development of AIDS, most of these young people are likely to have been infected during adolescence . (DHR Division of Public Health, Prevention Services Branch and Epidemiology Branch) 
• In 2001, over 8,000 girls in Georgia ages 10 to 17 became pregnant; nearly 700 of these were under 15-years-old. (DHR Division of Public Health)
• Use of drugs and alcohol impair a person’s willingness and ability to postpone sex or use condoms and other precautions consistently and correctly while having sex.

(Journal of Adolescent Health, March 1988)

Good News:: Reversing trends of the past two decades, fewer young people are engaging in risky sex behaviors. CDC reports a steady decline for 1991-1997 in the proportion of high school students whohave ever had sexual intercourse and the proportion who have had sex with multiple partners. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) 
The teenage pregnancy rate in Georgia has declined 19 percent, from about 59 per 1,000 girls age 10-19 in 1990 to 48 per 1,000 in 1997. (DHR Division of Public Health )

Interview 1 
1. Why do you think it is important to have conversations with your kids about sex and sexuality? As a parent of a 22 year old who is sexually active I am very glad that as growing up I answered questions honestly that were asked.  With a child who I knew one day would be sexually active I felt it the only defense he had against sexually transmitted diseases and possible early parenthood.  Growing up my parents NEVER discussed sex let alone mentioned a word that related to it.  What I found out as a child growing up was by accident and I did not feel that in this day and age a child should be walking through the world with blinders on.  Also, by talking to my child at least I feel I opened up the dialog regardless what happens and that perhaps he will come to me if unfortunately he finds himself in a precarious situation.
2. Do you have these conversations with your teens? I had conversations with my son as a 10 year old and still do if he wants to talk.  The content of the conversations has changed of course, but I like to think that since I have talked honestly and openly with him since he was 10 that there isn't much he won't talk to me about.
3. How did you/do you initiate these conversations? When he was younger the conversations were initiated by his questions, to which I would respond accurately and simply.  In the beginning that was enough, as he got older the one-liners didn't work so I prepared myself for more in depth conversations if need be.  When I assumed he was becoming sexually active I immediately asked what if any protection was being used.  This is not a comfortable conversation for any parent but in my case because the dialog began when he was young it was not as hard when he got older.  If a parent can't initiate a conversation with their child on this subject then they, in my opinion, have not been truly talking with their child.  Now days, I cannot believe that as a parent you have not been in a position where questions or situations have presented them selves that needed to be responded to.
4. What's the hardest part about having these conversations? Not knowing if they will listen to your advice.
5. What advice do you have for other parents who want to or need to have these conversations with their teens?  It is the most important thing as a parent that you can do and the most uncomfortable.  In the long run if you speak openly and honestly with you child you will not only hopefully save them from making some life changing mistakes but you will also create a relationship that will grow as the years go by.  Although my son is now 22 I know that he will talk to me about almost anything and if he can't talk to me he will talk to his father.  For this reason he knows that he ALWAYS has someone to talk to, ask questions and get honest answers from and two people who will support him in anyway they can.  A parent’s biggest responsibility is to prepare a child to be able to face the challenges they will deal with in life and a safe haven from those daily challenges at the end of the day.

Interview 2

1. Why do you think it is important to have conversations with your kids about sex and sexuality?  So they are educated about the risk of pregnancy and STD's
2. Do you have these conversations with your teens? YES
3. How did you/do you initiate these conversations? At a time when I feel I have my sons undivided attention. Like when we are riding in the car or alone in the park etc.
4. What's the hardest part about having these conversations? I don't find it hard to have these conversations.  My son and I developed communication skills very early in his life.
5. What advice do you have for other parents who want to or need to have these conversations with their teens? The key is being "proactive." You have to develop a great relationship with your child when they are infants. We as parents need to respect our children, and sometimes respect means talking about things that are "uncomfortable." If we truly dedicate our time and energy to the children we bring into this world, then conversations about sex, love, std's, or anything else will come natural.

Interview 3

1. Do you think it is important to have conversations with your kids about sex and sexuality?  I do think that it is extremely important to have conversations with your kids about sex and sexuality.  There are few decisions that have such long-lasting outcomes.  Disease, pregnancy, untimely ending of school, low income, fewer options regarding continuing education, challenging relationships with family members and friends, responsibility for new life, and potential for untimely death, just to mention a few.
2. How did you/do you initiate these conversations? Initiating these conversations can be difficult.  I think that parents have to look for teachable moments and times when the circumstance opens the door.  And easy one is to open a conversation regarding a sexual situation on a tv show you are both watching.  More than one conversation was initiated because I worked at the health department and came home many times with condoms in my lab coat pocket.  When I emptied my pockets on the table, the condoms were very noticeable and prompted some discussion.
3. What advice do you have for other parents who want to or need to have these conversations with their teens? The more conversations you have with your child the better.  If you start have great talks about "safe" topics when the child is younger, it makes it easier to transition to the tougher questions.